Quotable Quotes

Connor was challenging Daddy in ping pong, saying that since he recently took him down, it'll happen again.
Ben: Ooh, shots fired!

On Connor's new phone, he was going to setup 4 fingerprints (scanner) and Mom 1 finger.
Ben:  what's Dad, a pork chop?  (Chopped liver)

When writing these down, Ben realizes that they're pretty much all from him.
Ben: you need to find a new quote source

Connor says he's the tallest kid in the family.
Ben:  I'm the third tallest, PARTICIPATION TROPHY! 

Ben: I run a strict boat
(tight ship)

Ben: Gun seat!!
(shot gun) when calling front seat in the car

Night before Ben's 13th birthday, putting him to bed.
Ben:  last night as a pre-teen
Ben:  starting tomorrow, I can watch PG-13 movies (as if he hasn't already been)

Julian called Ben on Facetime.  Ben was giving Julian a tour of his room.
Julian: What is that?
Ben: Turkey baster. 
Julian:  Why do you have that?
Ben:  we got a jacuzzi for Christmas!